But I need to vent somewhere probably no one will read.
I'm sick of life-- sick of school, sick of teachers, sick of being here, sick of being alone, sick of being unsatisfied with life, sick of being sick. I don't get it. Maybe it is senioritis, but I never imagined it being this difficult: to know that you're so close to being there, but at the same time, you still have months to go. In the gran scheme of things, months are nothing; they're relatively insignificant to all the hard work I've put in, getting straight A's and the occasional B+. But I'm just throwing it all away with an apathetic hand. I really don't care sometimes, but I come to regret it right after. Not doing homework, not doing assignments, not wanting to do anything-- it's all killing me. What the hell am I doing?
I just need these next few months to go by faster and be kind to me. I really really want to go to either NYU or UPenn. UPenn's a stretch, but I think I have a shot at NYU. I need to get out of here. I need to do something different. I need to stop lying around, waiting for something to happen, when 17 years of being here has told me nothing will.
