But I need to vent somewhere probably no one will read.
I'm sick of life-- sick of school, sick of teachers, sick of being here, sick of being alone, sick of being unsatisfied with life, sick of being sick. I don't get it. Maybe it is senioritis, but I never imagined it being this difficult: to know that you're so close to being there, but at the same time, you still have months to go. In the gran scheme of things, months are nothing; they're relatively insignificant to all the hard work I've put in, getting straight A's and the occasional B+. But I'm just throwing it all away with an apathetic hand. I really don't care sometimes, but I come to regret it right after. Not doing homework, not doing assignments, not wanting to do anything-- it's all killing me. What the hell am I doing?
I just need these next few months to go by faster and be kind to me. I really really want to go to either NYU or UPenn. UPenn's a stretch, but I think I have a shot at NYU. I need to get out of here. I need to do something different. I need to stop lying around, waiting for something to happen, when 17 years of being here has told me nothing will.
Hey man, just hang in there. Life throws us problems and situations every chance it has to do so. We have to take it one at a time. I know when I was a senior, I went nuts just counting down the days, trying to figure out what I was going to do afterwards. Ive been out of school almost 10 years and I am just now figuring out what I want to do with my life.
ReplyDeleteAnyway what I'm getting at here is, it'll get better trust me. You just have to say fuck it and do it anyway, ha ha. You'll start to get over the dislike and the feeling of not wanting to do anything.
Well man I hope this helps out in some way. Take care man, and best of luck.