Nothing happens when nothing's said.

So why is it so hard to say something?

Thanksgiving Clichéness

What am i thankful for?

I'm thankful for....

An awesome cousin.

Wealth, i guess.
Health, i guess.

Idk, those are the most immediate and superficial things i could think of. I guess i should say I'm thankful for being gay, but i kind of dont. I mean, in a way i am. Its given me a sense of belonging since I'm definitely in a certain group. But i kind of dont want to be in this group. Sigh. Hopefully, this will all change on day.. I'm hoping on day, acceptance'll just hit me like a truck. But thats what i said about puberty. I didnt even know my voice became monotone until people started laughing at me for me.

FuckYeahGayCouples, Manhunt

Well, i guess i cant solely talk about how i feel ostracized and excluded from society. I am really glad I read Manhunt. I know it sounds cheesy, and i may have forgotten how i found Manhunt, but I'm really glad that i read this blog. Its not the hot guys or the cute guys, but all the comments that remind me that there are other gay guys out there that do the same thing as me. I'm sure most of them are a million times older than i am, which is slightly creepy, but they're gay nevertheless. Also, I'm glad i found Fuckyeahgaycouples from Manhunt. It is the most adorable website ever. It shows gay couples who post pictures of themselves. This reassures me more that I'm not alone more than Manhunt. It shows pictures of gay couples who perhaps thought the same way i do. Some day, I'll get my picture up there. Maybe. Perhaps. Hopefully.

"It Gets Better"

Heterosexuals that claim everything will be fine dont know what its like. Its a huge mountain that I have to climb eventually that they never had to. Sure, you can say it'll make me stronger in the long run, but for now, i feel so weak and numb and cold and tired.
Jada says that the real issue is that I cant accept the fact that I'm gay myself. It's true, i cant. But she makes it seem so easy. It's not easy when you know you're different than everyone else. That there are groups of people that shun you because of your being. Hell, all of society does it, whether they know it or not. People loosely throw around the word "gay" or "fag", associating it with anything negative. How the hell am i supposed to come out with people saying stuff like that?
I'm sure half the people dont mean it, but even look at Tiffany. She says that Austin might be gay, but she says it as if its something terrible. That she's wasting her time trying to win him if he's gay. Or even what Jada says about what i should do. I feel like she just wants to say "Get the hell over it. Its not that serious". Same with Jasmine. She yelled at Jahmal to "come out of the closet you freaking faggot". Great. I'm pretty sure she thinks that about me. It seems that nobody understands. Nobody understands how insanely difficult this is. I dont know a single gay guy my age and this fucking sucks. All of these videos about how it gets better show how they have all gotten boyfriends and girlfriends, but how about now? I'm fucking 16 and I've never even had a boyfriend, let alone my first kiss. I wonder what would happen if I just decided to go out with a girl just to get this over with. I hate this. None of you understand it seems.

xFactor week 7

Cher and Paije in the bottom two. Kind of funny. Two weeks in a row with shock results. Well Paije left since I'm sure the judges wouldnt have the nerve to vote Cher off. So Paije is gone. Next to leave, I'm hoping, is Katie, then Wagner, then Mary. Then who knows.

For granted.

It's a sad event that takes place in many lives. People take you for granted; you take others for granted. Hell, other people take other people for granted too. There are some people, people not like me, out there who take their peers for granted. Some of those people, i wish i could just take a fraction of the things they take for granted Their friends, their families,... their spouse. They seem to turn a blind eye to the people that love them the most and take advantage of their existence. But i guess the reason they are able to do so, is because they are the way they are. And the reason why I take things for granted, is because of the way i am. For that, the things all people take for granted are different because everyone is different. Sure, there are differences, but as a whole, people take different things for granted.

What do i take for granted? Plenty.

Fucking Katie won over Aiden. Aiden lost this week. Katie has been in the bottom like 4/6 times. Fuck her. I fucking hate her now. I felt so bad for Aiden. The hosts asked him what he wants to do now and he said "have a beer" and looked down. Uhg... Fuck you Britain.