"It Gets Better"

Heterosexuals that claim everything will be fine dont know what its like. Its a huge mountain that I have to climb eventually that they never had to. Sure, you can say it'll make me stronger in the long run, but for now, i feel so weak and numb and cold and tired.
Jada says that the real issue is that I cant accept the fact that I'm gay myself. It's true, i cant. But she makes it seem so easy. It's not easy when you know you're different than everyone else. That there are groups of people that shun you because of your being. Hell, all of society does it, whether they know it or not. People loosely throw around the word "gay" or "fag", associating it with anything negative. How the hell am i supposed to come out with people saying stuff like that?
I'm sure half the people dont mean it, but even look at Tiffany. She says that Austin might be gay, but she says it as if its something terrible. That she's wasting her time trying to win him if he's gay. Or even what Jada says about what i should do. I feel like she just wants to say "Get the hell over it. Its not that serious". Same with Jasmine. She yelled at Jahmal to "come out of the closet you freaking faggot". Great. I'm pretty sure she thinks that about me. It seems that nobody understands. Nobody understands how insanely difficult this is. I dont know a single gay guy my age and this fucking sucks. All of these videos about how it gets better show how they have all gotten boyfriends and girlfriends, but how about now? I'm fucking 16 and I've never even had a boyfriend, let alone my first kiss. I wonder what would happen if I just decided to go out with a girl just to get this over with. I hate this. None of you understand it seems.