Slightly Really Insane.

I have another blog somewhere. I don't remember the URL for it, but i remember why i started it. Quite similar to this one, it started off with posts that would make people think I'm slightly really insane. Posts that were just random thoughts about how messed up life can get.
As teenager-y of me as this seems, I can't help but quote a song(Lost by Micheal Buble):
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy, but you're not

I guess the most ruthless and exciting my life has been was when i was infatuated with Tejeda. She was... amazing. She loved me. I thought i loved her. (I'm sure you know why I didn't) We did some pretty stupid things together. Like cutting. This was in no way her fault. But she did start this trend. There were about 10 kids in our grade who cut themselves out of about 80. I never actually cut myself though. I would run a needle deep enough to hurt, but it would never bleed. I thought it wouldn't show, but turns out I was too stupid to see it.
But that's not really what this post is about. We used to steal too. It was really stupid. We stole from places like CVS and Sephora for hair products and make up. I don't even know what was going through my mind. But one day, we got greedy. And we got caught. I thought we had only stolen for a few weeks, but we had actually been stealing for...months... Life kind of really sucked after that. Whenever I was awake, I would cry about how much life sucked, and all that crying made me tired. So either it was me crying, or me sleeping; either way, my life became consumed with it. I don't even think it was the fact that I got caught. It was the fact that I've lost the sliver of respect that I had. Mason had recently been bailed out of jail and was on parole, so Mom's life sucked, I'm sure. She thought she was a terrible mother but really, I was just a terrible son. Not only a terrible son, but a terrible everything else. The only person that knew was Mason, and he never even bothered to stop me. I was a terrible friend to Alexander. I was a terrible cousin to Tiffany. It just... all sucked. I wrote about it a bit on the random blog i was talking about earlier, and a lot of the posts probably came off as super psycho. The teenager in me is clawing at the chance to quote another song. (F**king Perfect by P!nk)
Made a wrong turn
One or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life