Pathetic.

Pathetic. One of the most insulting words, in my opinion. It implies that you're weak. And sad. And most importantly, vulnerable.

I seem to always think of myself as pathetic. Weak. Sad. Vulnerable.

Lets just talk about the first one off the top of my head. I feel pathetic because I want a boyfriend. I want someone to be there for me whenever I need them. I want someone to love. I want someone to love me back. I want someone to hold and kiss and talk to and walk around with and hang out with and play games with and introduce to friends and family and to wrestle with and to argue with and to make all of this grief worthwhile ... For someone to reassure me that all of this isnt in vain.

But that just all seems so pathetic. I guess that means I'm pathetic. Just absolutely pathetic.